Debt Free

I don't write about being debt-free before God because I get it. I'm writing about it because I don't get it. When I do, it's rare and because of His grace alone. When I don't, it's a constant battle between flesh and Spirit trying to fight for faith while knowing God's truth. I can know God's truth all day long... but if I don't live in light of God's truth there is discontinuity between what I know and what I believe. How I live is how I truly believe and what I know becomes puffed-up head knowledge. I pray that we would all learn to live in light of our true freedom in Christ and without debt before God if we have trusted Him as our Savior... (wouldn't that be a game changer!?). 


So here's a new post on the subject over at the Sojourn Women's Blog. (or below) 

Forgiveness is the renunciation or cessation of resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, disagreement, or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'.

My husband and I have never been big credit card people. I know people who are and I’ve had lots of friends that redeem credit card points like a part time job. When I think of debt, I think of being bound. Take school debt, for instance, you get 4 years of social awesomeness or so, you get a degree (hopefully) and then you may or may not get a job in return. And yet, for most of us, the debt from school loans loom for decades to come.

I often have difficulty understanding the concept of forgiveness. It’s seriously hard for me after I have done something terrible or had even a silent offense against our perfect God that I can’t imagine how he could not hold a debt over my head. Because I find it so hard to imagine, I often don’t believe He has forgiven me. I live under the assumption that because I’m a terrible sinner I should just feel terrible. It’s a lie from both my prideful flesh and from Satan.

In Galatians 5, the apostle Paul talks about being debt-free on earth and being able to participate in community as debt-free. In fact, he so eloquently asks them why they would go back to having rules in order to receive salvation. If you go back to having to keep these specific rules, Paul writes, “Christ will be of no advantage to you.” Don’t we know we can’t keep all the rules of perfection to pay our own debt before the Eternally Perfect One?

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (verse 1).

Prideful flesh.

Why do I insist that I must do something to add to Jesus’ death? As if a purposefully sacrificial death of a perfect human and perfect God is not enough for my sin. As if my sin is greater than Jesus’ overwhelming blood. As if, somehow, I feel a certain way for long enough it will cause the Holy Creator of all things good and holy to feel a certain way about me. “Oh, you feel bad, Bekah?... Well, in that case, if you feel bad for two more weeks, then you can be free of that debt.” 

To be free of debt.

Honestly, my first thought is (sadly), I have no idea how being debt-free could possibly feel. WHY is that my first response when I have been made a daughter of a King to share inheritance with Jesus because my debt has literally been paid? I didn’t win a get out of hell free card. My debt was literally and physically paid by a human who endured all things perfectly so that I could sit here and share my heart with you, so that I could glorify Him by worshipping him for a debt paid and so that I could know beautiful communion with Him.

But my first response is to feel laden with burden because I put the world and the things in the world often before my Lord. I don’t stop to consider that I am free of the most serious and horrendous-consequence debt known to mankind, in the history of mankind, for eternity. 

God has forgiven me, and not just because He’s perfectly loving. But because He is perfectly wrathful and perfectly just, sending Jesus to die a sinner’s death in THIS sinner’s place: me. Jesus died in my place. Literally.

I am debt free before God.

It makes me weep.

And it humbles me. I can do nothing more than what Jesus has already done for me to settle my debt with God. I can’t work enough, I can’t serve enough, and I can’t be a certain way or do certain things or feel a certain way. However, I know when I do feel guilty and bad, it’s the Holy Spirit leading me to repentance, “for godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret” (2 Corinthians 7:10a). The fact that we are able to feel guilt is God’s gift of true freedom to His followers because it’s an internal signal that something is wrong. How kind of Him to supply us with the Holy Spirit!

Because Christ died.

We are debt free and we have a freedom that can ONLY be experienced when you are debt free. How foolish I am to often live as if I am still in bondage to hell. When I choose to live that way, it’s prideful and a slap in the face to the Savior who died and already took it away. When I refuse freedom in a debt-free to God life, I am telling Jesus that His sacrifice was just not quite enough for me. It may be good enough for my neighbor, for my coworker or my children, but it’s not enough to cover my sin. How dare me.  

But He still died.

So regardless of how I feel, I can know without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus, the Great Minister, who is currently seated next to the Majesty in heaven, understands my weaknesses. And because He so rightly understood many years ago, He courageous laid down on a cross, allowed them to nail his hands and feet to pieces of wood and then was separated for the first and only time ever from his Perfect Father (as this incredibly loving father poured all of His wrath upon His only son). 

Thank you Jesus.